Codename
by Abarero
Summary: When computer geek Alfred inadvertently downloads government secrets into his brain, the two governments send agents to keep a watch on him. One of them is agent Arthur Kirkland, who is about to turn Alfred's life upside down in more ways than one. USUK
1. Alfred versus the Computer: 1

**Notes:** Written for **socialholic** as part of the **usxuk** Secret Santa. She asked for _The first time they meet - in an AU._ This AU is based of the American TV series _Chuck_ in the premise and setup, but I will be veering heavily from that show's plotlines.

* * *

**CODENAME**

* * *

"Katya, what are you doing here?"

His voice was muffled against the din of the rain on the building's roof, the dark night cloaking them as the man wiped his glasses clean. It was a bad night for this kind of work, but they had no other choice. It was all the better to hide them on this top secret mission.

"Eduard, I just…" She sniffed and took a deep breath, "Are you sure this is for the best?"

The sandy-haired man nodded, his expression resolute. "If what your sources told you is true, the project is compromised and will be stolen by the Russians at dawn. If we try to go through our agency, it will be too late. We have no other choice."

Clutching her shoulders, the glistening tears in her eyes standing out despite how dim the light was, Eduard leaned his forehead down against hers and whispered. "Now please, Katya. For you to be here is very dangerous. We've made our plans; you know what to do. Don't let me down on this, partner."

She smiled slightly, absently straightening Eduard's tie. "Just tell me one thing, Eduard, and I will go. Can we trust him?"

Eduard slid his gun from where he'd tucked it in his back waistband, his senses all working on overdrive with the knowledge of what he was about to do.

"Yes, Katya. We can trust Alfred Jones with our lives any day."

* * *

"I can't believe you talked me into this, Gilbert…"

They had opened the back door to their store and were currently sneaking down the hallway to the manger's office.

The light-haired man slapped his friend hard on the back. "Aww, come on man! It'll be totally awesome! Pretend we're like spies or something on a top secret mission of awesomeness."

Alfred frowned. "Why would spies want to break into their boss's office in the middle of the night? That doesn't sound very heroic."

Gilbert spun on the spot and whispered, "Alfred, you heard Ludwig. The only reason he didn't let you take it home earlier is because he's punishing me. It's very heroic of me to help you get what you are being unfairly denied because my bro can't handle my extreme levels of awesome!"

"And I'm here because?"

"Hero always needs a sidekick, right?"

He quirked a smile at that. "Well, I guess…but I'd rather be the hero, you know."

"Haha, well the awesome me is our stealthy hero of the night because-" Gilbert held up a ring of keys and jingled it, "I'm the man with the plan."

Alfred snatched the keys from him and jammed them into the office door. "More like you stole them off the counter once your brother went to sleep."

"Whoa man, no harshing on my awesomeness."

As the door swung open, Alfred glanced around the room then looked back to Gilbert.

"Okay, where is it?"

Gilbert laughed nervously. "Uhh..."

"You have no idea, do you?"

He grinned, shouldering his way into the room and plopping down in the desk chair to spin around. "No idea at all."

"Gilbert!"

* * *

"von Bock!"

A barrage of gunfire followed Eduard as he turned the corner, quickly clambering up into the ceiling panels before the guards chasing him caught up. He waited and watched through a small crack, letting out a sigh of relief when they ran past his hiding spot.

Dropping back down from the ceiling, Eduard clutched at the bloody graze on his arm. It was starting to throb uncomfortably and chances were the agent who had caused it would be coming all too soon.

He had to keep moving.

Racing down the hallway, he skidded to a halt at the end of the hall and pulled out a small palm sized computer. He hooked a cord from it to the lock on the door; punching in a few codes, the light switched from red to green, giving him clearance.

Sliding inside the room, he saw the flickers of the project's image database projected on the walls around him. But Eduard didn't have time to appreciate the view. Racing to the center of the room, he opened up the laptop there, seated on a small spindly table.

After opening it, he hacked through all the passwords and security walls protecting it, his nimble fingers dancing across the keys with ease. Finally, the screen popped up and he connected his computer to it.

Eduard smiled.

The program was transferring, the images on the walls slowly flickering out until he was left in the darkness with only the laptop screen for light.

"Time to say goodbye," he murmured, punching in the last sequence of numbers.

Katya must have gotten her bomb secured to the mainframe earlier, because as he pressed the 'Enter' key, the room erupted into a massive explosion as Eduard ran mere steps ahead of the wall of flame.

* * *

The loud fizzing and sputtering of a soda can exploding as it was opened caused Alfred to dart his head around in alarm, seeking out the source of the sound in the small office. Of course, it was Gilbert, who had dug a can out of Ludwig's desk and opened it after spinning around in the office chair, the carbonation getting thoroughly shaken as he did so.

"Very stealthy, Gilbert," he grumbled looking at the sticky mess all over the desk and floor.

The other man shrugged, taking a noisy slurp from the can.

Running a hand up through his bangs, Alfred sighed. "Look, maybe we should just go. We're already going to be in enough trouble for you covering Ludwig's desk in soda residue."

"Don't worry about it," Gilbert said, standing up. "He's only going to blame me anyways. Might as well find what we came for."

Alfred found he couldn't really argue that point, being as it was mostly true. Even if Ludwig did know he was involved, Gilbert would be the one seen as the instigator of the trouble.

"Have you ever," he sifted through one of Ludwig's desk drawers, "I don't know, considered _not_ trying to piss your brother off at every turn?"

Gilbert laughed. "What fun would that be?"

* * *

In the confusion of the explosion, Eduard made a run for the exit of the building. Already guards and agents were evacuating and for anyone unaware of his infiltration, he just looked like yet another CIA agent leaving the building.

Hiding amongst the crowd rushing out, and hoping they took his singed and battered appearance just to mean he was in an office closer to the explosion, Eduard pulled out his computer.

The small handheld device was still showing the 'Completed Transfer' screen and he quickly thumbed that away, keying up his email and quickly scrolling down the list of contacts.

As he emerged outside the burning building, a voice called out.

"von Bock, stand down!"

He grimaced, raising his eyes to meet the agent behind his bleeding arm.

"Vash," he said with a nod.

"That's Major Zwingli to you, von Bock," the blonde shot back, leveling his gun with Eduard's chest.

"Just as friendly as ever, I see."

He tried to keep talking as he counted down the contacts, knowing the one he sought was seventy sixth on the list.

"Give me one good reason not to shoot you dead as a rogue agent right here and now."

"Because the NSA isn't my agency?"

He cocked the gun. "Not good enough."

"If you just speak to Katya Chernenko, she'll explain everything. Please Vash, I'm doing this for the best interests of all of us."

He wavered, lowering his gun just slightly. "Agent Chernenko is involved?"

Eduard shook his head. He'd take the fall for her if he had to. "No. I'm working alone off intel she'd received from her contacts. I didn't have time to explain."

Vash lowered his gun at that, frowning. "If you come quietly with me to headquarters…"

Glancing sideways at his computer, Eduard saw that the name he needed was highlighted. He selected it. As he started to glance up, a gunshot rang out.  
Hitting him square in the chest, Eduard fell backwards, his eyes drifting over to the computer in his hand.

"You're our only hope, Alfred," he murmured silently.

The screen displayed an "Email Sent!" image and before any of the surrounding agents could approach, the computer exploded.

* * *

"I got it!" Alfred said triumphantly, holding up the small disc. "This is so freaking awesome, I can't believe I'm touching it. The new Mass Effect game, untouched by any other human hands before now...well, except the people who made it and shipped it out to the store."

Gilbert snorted, "Yeah, no way my lameo bro would play that. Too awesome for him."

Alfred stuck the disk in his messenger bag and went to the door. "Well, have fun cleaning up."

"Wait- what?"

He grinned, pointing to the mess they'd left. "I think Ludwig might notice we've ransacked his office if it looks like…well…your room."

Gilbert pouted. "But I was going to borrow the game tonight and…"

"And leak it on the internet like you did with the last pre-release disc you got? That's why Ludwig wouldn't let me have it. He knew you'd borrow it."

"Oh right."

Alfred waved over his shoulder. "Goodnight, Gilbert."

"I can come play the game tomorrow, right?" He called after him.

"If your brother doesn't ground you…"

As he shut the door behind him, Alfred could hear Gilbert protesting that his brother didn't ground him anymore.

* * *

"Well I like totally need my beauty sleep, babe, so let's get to bed," the bubbly blonde said, getting up from the couch.

His partner looked worriedly to the front door. "But Alfred…"

"Is out with Gilbert, and it, like could be eons before he gets his butt home. Stop being such a worrywart, Toris."

He gave a small smile. "Sorry Feliks. It's just…he's been so down since that last company turned down his resume, so I worry."

Feliks yanked Toris up from the couch. "Alfred's gonna be fine. Sure his job isn't like the most totally fab thing in the world, but hey, head of the Nerd Herd at the Buy More is still a job. In this economy, you gotta like take anything that isn't totally grody work."

"I guess…"

Feliks pecked a kiss on his check and started wheedling him down the hallway to their room. "You're like so sweet, Toris. But Alfred would totally _not_ be like happy if you stayed up for him again. I know you're like major BFFs and all, but still."

Glancing once more to the clock then down the hallway, Toris sighed. "You're right, Feliks. I just worry too much sometimes."

"And that is why you have the totally gnarly me to like keep you from getting these massive knots in your muscles," Feliks said, gently rubbing at a particularly tense spot on Toris's back.

"We have an early day at the salon tomorrow, don't we?"

Feliks quirked a teasing smile as he shoved Toris onto the bed. "Not _that_ early, lover boy."

* * *

"I'm home!" Alfred called out as he pushed open his townhouse's door.

Glancing around at the empty living room, he sighed, thankful that his roommates hadn't stayed up on his behalf again. Sometimes Toris could worry just a bit too much about him when he was out late…

Casting a knowing look towards the flicker of light under Feliks and Toris's bedroom door, Alfred quietly made his way to his room on the opposite end of the house. Flinging open his door, he entered what his friend Gilbert had aptly called 'Nerd Heaven.'

Alfred's room was awash with colored posters (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Batman – the _original_, with Adam West, thank you very much) and pristine collectors figures all kept in a glass case on the far wall. The ceiling had a large model (that Alfred had made himself) of the USS Enterprise in its original _Star Trek_ styled glory hanging amidst a collection of glow-in-the-dark stars (which had been arranged in the constellations of the summer skies).

Next to his bed was the ultimate game center, complete with just about every system he owned (some were in the living room) and a medium sized TV. He was hoping to save up for a big screen once he got a better job, but that hadn't happened yet.

Flopping down on his bed, and starting to load in his screener copy of the new Mass Effect game, Alfred sighed. This would be _so cool_ on a big screen, but he was still working at Buy More (the large electronics store chain) and none of his resumes ever went through. If only he'd gotten that high-paying job he'd been promised back when he was in his final year of college.

It wasn't that he was bitter at his friend, and at the time roommate, for getting the job. It's just that they'd promised _two_ jobs to the two highest ranked students in the computer sciences fields. And he'd been second and then royally gypped when the company mysteriously declined him; something Alfred had a sinking feeling was a black mark keeping him from getting a job anywhere else.

A loud ping echoed across his room and he glanced over to his computer, which was flashing an indication of a new email. Toeing off his shoes, he padded over to it and opened it up.

Well, speaking of his old roommate who got the awesome job…

"What's Eduard emailing me about?" He mumbled to himself, clicking the email open.

Suddenly the screen went black, leaving only two rows of text on it reading:

_If you could only chose one weapon for a zombie apocalypse, what would it be?_

A smile quirking at his lips, Alfred glanced over to the row of collector's figures on the shelf that represented his answer. It was an old joke they'd shared back in college, after all.

Slowly, he typed in their answer: _DALEK._

Within seconds, the black screen was replaced by rapidly flashing images; hundreds and thousands of them flashing so quickly Alfred couldn't process a single one individually. He stood frozen, as if entranced by the sequence of pictures, not knowing that his simple life as a computer nerd at the local Buy More was about to change forever.

* * *

Arthur knew it wasn't a good mission when it was prefaced with "take anything that will keep you comfortable for at least six months."

All right, so he'd bloody well bollocksed up a few missions lately and his disguise skills weren't quite what they used to be. Well, so be it. But to do this to him- a promising MI-6 Agent who was still quite young- was paramount to a slap in the face.

It was only when they told him it involved the top secret ALLIES project that Arthur decided that perhaps they weren't undervaluing him after all. Considering he didn't even _know_ about this project until he was briefed for his mission, clearly he was being entrusted with something of great importance to national security. By golly, he'd even been handed a letter signed by the Queen herself begging him to assure that none of the ALLIES project secrets fell into enemy hands.

But even with all that fanfare, it still seemed rather strange.

ALLIES was a joint intelligence project between the United States of America and the United Kingdom, the two governments pooling all their information into a collective of images and intel.

Right then, that sounded quite the troublesome matter if it fell into the wrong hands.

Yet his only instructions were to meet up with an American NSA agent, destroy one computer and speak to one person. Then, if the person 'showed signs of contamination' – whatever rubbish that meant – they were being assigned to stay with him until further notice.

His partner, the NSA agent, was the infamous gun-toting Major Vash Zwingli. When Arthur asked him what he thought about the mission, he merely shrugged and remarked that he figured if the person knew too much they should just shoot him and go home.

Arthur agreed at the time, not knowing that he'd come to see this person as more than worth protecting in no time at all.

* * *

The first thing Alfred registered when he woke up was that he was going to be late to work; the fact he had a massive headache and was lying on the floor were only secondary realizations.

Then, he remembered the email.

Gripping his head and clambering to his feet, he swore. "Shit, Eduard. What the hell was that?"

A distant voice calling out, "Alfred, breakfast is on the table. We're heading out now!" brought him back to the present.

It was almost 7:30am, if he didn't get showered and run out the door now, he'd be massively late. And he knew Ludwig was _not_ a fan of his employees showing up late.

So shoving the bizarre email (and the random flashes of images he couldn't identify filtering through his hazy mind) aside, Alfred stripped out of his clothes and padded into his bathroom to shower.

Singing to himself, he never heard the front door creak back open or the light footsteps coming down the hallway towards his bedroom. And it wasn't until Alfred had stepped out of the shower, wrapped only in a towel, and walked back into his room that he realized…he had company.

Repressing a girlish squeak, he awkwardly said, "Uh…usually people knock, you know?"

Part of him registered the duo, both dressed in mostly black and looking serious. The first looked like part of some SWAT team, black gear head to toe and several visible guns.

The flicker of images in his head swirled and Alfred blinked on realizing he knew who this was. Major Vash Zwingli, and uh…he really liked guns. In the killed-loads-of-bad guys kinda way.

Alfred gave him a tenative smile. "Can I help you?"

It was then that the second man, who had been inspecting Alfred's computer, turned around. He was in black slacks, a black jacket and a white collared shirt (obviously recently pressed). Green eyes locked with Alfred's blue and he felt his heart lurch as once again his head provided him with information he shouldn't know.

Arthur Kirkland, British Intelligence. Loves tea and looks way better in those rare instances when he smiles than his current scowl might convince you.

Shaking his head, Alfred took a step forward. Which, as he soon found out, was a bad idea.

"Hands in the air, Jones!" Vash yelled, cocking a gun.

He did so immediately, forgetting that he was still wearing nothing but a towel.

The towel dropped, and Alfred felt his face burn red as he stooped hastily to grab it up. He was about to apologize for lowering his hands when Major Zwingli spoke again.

"Get it together, Kirkland. It's not like you've never seen another man nude."

Alfred's eyes darted over to Arthur, realizing that he was wide eyed and bright red, having clearly gotten an eyeful.

With a nervous laugh, Alfred figured he'd try to appeal to their better natures. Since Mr. I-Love-Guns didn't seem to have one, he went for the second and still blushing agent.

"Could I offer either of you a cup of tea?"

He was surprised to see both of them lowering their guns as Arthur replied, "Y-Yes, I suppose we should have a sit down and talk this out with you Mr. Jones. If you could, um…"

He waved his hand at him.

"Get dressed so I'm not dealing with this hormonal outburst," Vash finished.

Arthur shot him a glare. "You know, most humans do have a sense of empathy and embarrassment for others. Or did you give that up when you sold your soul to the devil for a nice new gun?"

Vash turned back to him. "Kirkland, I could so easily shoot both the computer and him and go home to polish my guns. If you want to do this the nice way, then try being nice."

"Um…I vote for no shooting please," Alfred interjected. "Look Mr. Zwingli, Mr. Kirkland, I don't know why you're here but…"

Both of them went wide eyed.

"Major Zwingli never introduced himself," Arthur said slowly, looking back to the computer. "Oh bollocks, you opened the email didn't you?"

Alfred nodded. "Is that bad?"

"That email was encoded secret intelligence shared by the United States and the British agencies. If you viewed it, you now know it all," Vash explained darkly.

Arthur sighed, "Alfred Jones, until further notice, you are now an asset of codename project ALLIES. For better or worse, we...will be protecting you until we hear otherwise."

Giving them a cheeky look, he asked.

"Can the asset of project whatever put his clothes on now?"

To which, Arthur spluttered out a "yes, o-of course, you git!" while Major Zwingli rolled his eyes.

He still wasn't sure exactly why he had two secret agents in his bedroom or why they were now protecting him as an asset, but Alfred knew one thing for certain: his life had just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting.


	2. Alfred versus the Computer: 2

**Notes:** Thank you for all the lovely feedback so far! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! Here's the list of human names I'll be using from here on out for the characters that don't have official names.

Human names used:  
Ukraine: Katya Chernenko  
Monaco: Ingrid Grimaldi  
Seychelles: Evangeline (Eva)  
Norway: Nikolas Thomassen  
Denmark: Derek Densen

* * *

**Codename**

**Episode 1: Alfred versus the Computer, Part 2**

* * *

"I have one more question then…"

Alfred had been talking with the two agents for quite some time at the kitchen table. They'd explained to him what Project ALLIES was, how it was made of encoded images and how now that he had viewed those images there was a possibility that the computer was basically…inside his head.

Arthur, who had insisted on making the tea lest anyone 'butcher it', had added that there was a possibility that this ability would wear off after a few hours of being exposed to it. But since no one had ever tested it, they weren't sure. So until they could confirm or deny if Alfred's capacity to put names to faces uncannily like he had earlier was a fluke or a consistent new skill, they would be keeping a watch on him.

Alfred was more worried about the fact they were taking his precious hard drive, even though they assured him they'd return it once they made certain all traces of the email and the program it created to display the ALLIES code was deleted from it permanently.

But despite all they'd explained, there was still one question nagging away at him.

"I will answer it for you, if I can," Arthur replied. The two agents were just about to leave and he'd caught them heading out the door with his hard drive.

"How did Eduard get caught up in this? That password the program asked for…only he could have come up with it, so it couldn't be someone using his name…right?"

Vash sighed, looking to Arthur to explain.

"Your friend, Alfred, is a CIA agent. Possibly rogue. We have yet to confirm if what he said about Russian spies attempting to steal the project was true or not. If he tries to contact you again at all, you must tell us right away. Please, promise us that."

"Eduard? My computer savvy roommate from college? A spy?" Alfred laughed, "No way! He and I used to spend hours reenacting _Star Wars_ scenes with action figures. He can't be a spy!"

Arthur gave him a look and Alfred blushed, realizing how dorky what he'd just admitted was.

"Well believe what you want, Alfred. But if he shows up or contacts you," Vash gave him a smile that came across more intimidating than reassuring, "Let us know, got that?"

"Right," Alfred agreed.

"I'll be seeing you later," Arthur said with a wave.

Alfred blinked. "Wha- you…"  
"To return your computer. You must not act like you recognize me though. It's for the safety of our cover and you."

Pushing aside that little feeling of disappointment that it was just that, Alfred sighed. "Right. See ya."

As the two agents left, door swinging behind them, Alfred flopped down on the couch.

"Eduard von Bock a spy. Just _no freaking way!_"

* * *

Katya felt as if her heart hadn't stopped hammering since she'd left Eduard standing on that dreary rooftop the night before.

But she'd done everything she could. Even if she kept telling herself she should have done more to help him, there was only so much she could do without also putting herself at danger of being labeled rogue like Eduard currently was. They needed at least one of them to be safe in the CIA's eyes, and Katya had lost the coin toss on that.

So she'd calmly played the part- the distressed partner so torn over Eduard going rogue. She'd answered what questions she could about the intel she'd received, but was still (in their eyes) horrified to find out that her partner had acted on them so rashly.

Brushing the tears from her eyes, she politely requested a short leave of absence until she felt she could bring her emotions into check. Ingrid Grimaldi, her boss, had granted it. And so, she packed her bags and flew out that morning for…home.

She'd found a note in her bag that morning that just read _Where we shared our first kiss, outside cover_, and she just felt like following it.

And so she went to the last place she'd ever considered 'home'- a small quaint apartment she still kept up rent on in San Francisco. Eduard and she had been on a six month mission there once, and she'd just become too fond of it to let it go.

So with her bags in hand and her mind still in a million places at once, she'd opened the door to her apartment.

It took every ounce of strength and years of training to prevent her from crying out in shock. But once the door was shut, she dropped her luggage at once and rushed over to the bloody man on the couch.

"Eduard, oh goodness, Eduard!"

He forced a gritted smile through his pain. "I see you got my message, Katya."

She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before rushing to grab her first aid kit from the bathroom.

"Oh Eduard, you fool. You were never that good at your first aid classes, were you?"

He cracked a half-smile at that. "Much better with computers. All that flesh and blood confuses me, give me circuit boards and encoded programs to crack."

Shooing his hands away from where he held the towel to his wound, she started to bandage him up properly.

"I take it you did a rush job on it, came here as fast as you could before anyone started tracing you, and then decided to bleed on our good towels?"

A small smile played at his lips when she said 'our' towels and he inwardly decided to replace them when had the chance. Laying his blood-stained hand over hers where it was laid against his bleeding chest, Eduard replied, "Ah, you know me too well, Katya."

"So what happened? I thought you had a bullet proof vest on."

"Did. That's why I'm not dead."

Katya's eyes welled up at that, and Eduard quickly amended.

"It was Major Zwingli from the NSA. You know how he loves using bullets that tear right through vests. Just deep enough to bleed a lot, but it didn't go too deep, so don't worry."

Katya let out a visible sigh of relief at that.

"You were so lucky then…"

He pushed aside his tattered and bloody shirt until a gold chain with a charm dangling from it showed. "It was thanks to your lucky charm, Katya."

With a watery smile, she picked up the small Ukrainian trident charm and wiped the blood from it.

"Let us hope your friend is still safe. Alfred, right?"

Eduard nodded, sitting up a bit more now that his chest was properly bandaged. "I can't contact him yet, but…if what you overheard was right, that British agent should be keeping Major Zwingli in line. Al's a great guy, I'm sure he can handle it."

Katya smiled, sitting beside Eduard and pulling him into a gentle embrace.

"I'm certain any friend of yours must be good at keeping his calm in dire times, Eduard."

* * *

"Alfred?"

"Ahh! What?"

Alfred almost jumped out of his skin as Kiku, one of his fellow Nerd Herders, approached him with a malfunctioning printer. The poor Japanese-American broke into a peal of apologies, as usual.

"I am terribly sorry for disturbing you, Alfred. It was never my intent to impede upon whatever it was you were doing. If you will just excuse me and my ill timing I will…"

Alfred put his hands on Kiku's shoulders and smiled. "Kiku, it's okay. You just startled me a bit. Don't worry about it, all right?"

"But Alfred, I just want to apologize _for_ startling you and…"

Tapping the shorter man on the nose, Alfred wagged his finger at him. "What did we say at the Nerd Herd meeting about you and your apologizing?"

Kiku bowed his head. "Oh pardon me, it must have slipped my mind that I was supposed to try and stop that. I am so sorry I…"

This time Alfred put his finger on Kiku's lips and he stopped.

"Yes. Sorry. Err."

Alfred laughed, "You'll get the hang of it some day, Kiku. Don't stress over it."

If there was one thing keeping Alfred from completely and totally freaking out right now, it was the comfort of being around his coworkers at the Buy More. He was the lead of team Nerd Herd and pretty much let them do a lot of things he shouldn't, as long as they got their work done on time.

Evangeline, Eva as most everyone called her, was an African-American who had a fiery temper if anyone dared lure it out. Luckily, outside Gilbert, they were all smart enough not to do that. She was currently eating her favorite food, even though it wasn't anywhere near her lunch break, oyster fritters.

Gilbert, of course, was off on one of the computers they were supposed to be repairing, seeing if there was any porn on it. This, Alfred had discovered quickly, was his favorite pastime.

Sadly, Eva and even Kiku would usually flock around if Gilbert found something really good.

Kiku was probably the hardest working of the group. So much so that Alfred often had to remind him to take breaks and not to work overtime.

And so, Alfred wasn't too surprised that Kiku was the only one actually working on fixing any of the broken electronics at the moment. Glancing to the printer he held, he smiled at him.

"Need any help?"

"I remember this model had a glitch we'd previously diagnosed, and I couldn't remember if it was the paper jamming inside the wheels or the ink cartridges not fully inserting into their slots."

Alfred flipped open the top, stuck his hand down into the printer and pulled out a handful of shredded paper that looked like confetti. "Paper jam," he replied with a grimace. "This model just loves to eat paper."

Kiku gave a bow of his head, "Thank you most profusely for your assistance, Alfred. I will try and remember that next time."

And before Alfred could remind Kiku he didn't need to be so formal, the shorter man had already retreated back to the workstation counter to begin repairing another broken computer.

With a sigh, Alfred went back to what he was doing when Kiku had first startled him. Staring out at the sales floor, and trying to make sense all that had happened that morning.

Mostly his thoughts kept coming back to the British agent, how grumpy and scowling he seemed in person in contrast to those images in his mind of Arthur smiling. Alfred felt himself start to smile a little at the thought.

_I wonder what it takes to get him to smile like that…_, he pondered.

He'd found that trying to figure out Arthur seemed much easier than trying to make any sense of Major Zwingli. And it was definitely less disheartening than thinking about how Eduard was apparently a spy, how his life was apparently being monitored and how his precious hard drive was probably being dissected at that very moment.

Thinking about Arthur, and this strange insight he had about him, was much safer.

_Except for that part where he saw you naked,_ a little voice in his mind remarked.

Alfred flushed to the tips of his ears at the thought and had just started to try and will it away when someone approached the Nerd Herd counter.

He looked up and his eyes locked with a familiar set of green.

"Ar-" _Shit, I'm not supposed to act like I know him!_ "Arrrre you finding everything all right today, sir?"

Alfred forced a smile but his face, he was certain, was still semi-scarlet.

Arthur, who was blending in easily in his pressed tan slacks, green argyle sweater-vest and a pair of glasses perched on his face, gave Alfred a slight smile. Alfred wondered if the glasses were part of the cover or if he normally wore them, then shook himself back to the moment.

"Hallo, I've just moved here from across the pond and my boss over at the Tea for Two cross the way said you could help me. I've got this computer, see…" He lifted a hard drive up onto the counter and Alfred blinked. It was _his_ harddrive, he knew because he'd doodled the rebel alliance symbol from _Star Wars_ on the side in sharpie. "Can't seem to start the bloody thing up since I got settled. Thought you might have a look at it, hmm?"

Alfred laughed nervously, "Right, no problem err…"

He expected a false name. Something plain, yet dashing. Like James Bond or something. Instead, he got…

"Arthur. Arthur Kirkland." He gave Alfred a pointed look when he widened his eyes in shock.

Lowering his eyes, he cleared his throat and slid a business card across the counter. "Um. This is my contact info. Can you let me know when it's fixed? I've got to get back to work."

Alfred went to take the card and in his hurry, ended up planting his hand right atop Arthur's. They both blushed and yanked their hands back. Finally, Alfred managed to pick up the card.

It was a card for the shop, Tea for Two, with Arthur's name written at the bottom. Then, in small pencil it read, "Come over and see me on your break. I'll fix you something to drink."

"So can you fix it?" Arthur prompted, looking uneasily at Alfred's coworkers.

Alfred just gave him an awkward grin and said, "Oh yes! Yes of course! Promise ya, it'll be done in no time!"  
"R-Right," he replied, his blush rising. Alfred wasn't sure why, but he had a sinking feeling it had to do with his fellow Nerd Herders behind him. "Thank you, um…?"

After a moment, Alfred caught on. _Duh, we aren't supposed to know each other_. "Alfred. Alfred Jones, at your service."

A hint of a smile tugged at Arthur's lips and he gave him a piercing look. "Right then. I'll be seeing you, Alfred Jones."

And with that same little wave he'd given him that morning; Arthur turned around and sauntered out the automatic doors of the front door. Alfred's eyes watched as he crossed the parking lot to the small strip mall adjacent to the Buy More, entering the Tea for Two and…maybe he was imagining it, but he could have _sworn_ Arthur paused one moment before going in the door to shoot a look back across the parking lot at him.

"Someone's got a boooooyfriendddd!" Gilbert's loud voice sing-songed right behind Alfred.

"Al, promise me you'll get him to shave his eyebrows down after a few dates, okay?" Eva added.

Alfred felt his face burning, about to snap at them, when Kiku quietly added.

"Alfred was just giving him good customer service, that is all."

Gilbert snorted. "_Good customer service_, is that what we're calling it now?"

Eva laughed, "If that's the case, Gilbert gives out the best customer service in the store!"

"I wasn't flirting with him!" Alfred interjected, while Eva and Gilbert kept laughing. He looked to Kiku for support. "I wasn't!"

"Well, um…I'm sorry to say but…" Kiku picked up the small business card and a little smile quirked at his lips, "you did get his number. That generally doesn't happen unless some exchange of flirting is occurring, Alfred."

Snatching the card from Kiku before either of the others could catch sight of the invite over for a drink on his break, Alfred tried to will down his burning cheeks. With a huff, he grabbed up the hard drive.

"Get back to work guys or Ludwig's going to make us work the Customer Service desk again."

With groans at the words 'Customer Service desk,' they slunk back off to their workstations, Kiku lingering behind.

"Alfred?" He asked tentatively.

"Huh?"

He smiled. "Good luck."

Alfred waited until Kiku had turned to walk away before growling in frustration and thudding his head down against the counter.

He _didn't_ like _Agent_ Arthur Kirkland like _that_. No way at all!

* * *

Arthur Kirkland was, to say the least, a bit rattled.

"Jolly good show, old boy. Act like a ruddy school girl, why don't you…" He grumbled to himself as he put his nametag back on and returned to the register at the Tea for Two.

After giving over their briefing that morning to Miss Grimaldi, head of the CIA and proprietor for this mission, she'd informed them to set possible covers into place in the situation that this case ended up being a long one. Arthur had easily secured the job at the tea and coffee shoppe, and was quite happy with his luck in doing so, while Vash was putting in an application to work at the Buy More itself.

That wasn't the problem.

_Alfred Jones, at your service!_

The blue eyed blonde's jovial proclamation echoed in Arthur's mind and he felt his cheeks heating up as it did. Blast it all, why of all the covers had they picked _this_ one?

Logistically, he could see why. But as for how he personally was going to deal with it. Well, he'd right well shown that when he started flipping out when Alfred had dropped the towel, hadn't he?

Arthur sighed, scrubbing the counter a little harder than he needed to and earning a strange look from his manager.

Nikolas Thomassen was someone Arthur felt he wasn't going to have too much trouble getting along with. He was quiet, hadn't asked too many invasive questions, and had pretty much just told Arthur to do his job and left him be.

Right now though…

"I'd prefer if you didn't take out your computer woes on our countertop, Arthur."

Arthur flushed, quickly turning towards the voice.

"Oh right. Sorry. Just a bit worked up, that's all. Had a bit of a…a…" he floundered for a word and ineloquently settled for, "a thing with one employee. That's all."

Nikolas raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me you aren't talking about Derek."

He shook his head. "N-No. It was…an Alfred?"

The mental image of the nervously flushing blonde popped back into his mind and Arthur had to resist the urge to bash his head into the register in frustration.

"Ah. Well if you want to avoid a headache, don't bother with Derek."

"R-Right. Shall do."

The small jingle of the shoppe's bell drew both their attentions and Arthur felt his heart lurch when he saw who it was.

Standing there wearing an uncertain smile, his black tie a bit askew and his nametag a bit crooked from the jog across the parking lot, was none other than Mister Alfred Jones.

"Uh, h-hey Arthur you um…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Wanted to talk?"

Nikolas gave Arthur a knowing look and rolled his eyes. "Fifteen minute break starts now, Kirkland."

Arthur bustled out from behind the counter and shooed Alfred over towards the furthest table away from the registers. He'd already checked the whole store for possible bugs from anyone who might have recognized him as a spy and so it was now just important to remain out of earshot of other civilians.

"Just sit right here, I'll get us some tea."

He was just about to dart off when Alfred caught his wrist.

"I…don't drink tea. Got any good coffee?"

Not really having the time (fifteen minutes, Christ that wasn't much!) to try and sway Alfred towards the better and more refined drink, he nodded and rushed off. He'd have to ask Nikolas what putrid flavor of sludge was considered 'good' by taste buds that weren't his own tea-preferring ones.

Asking his manager quickly what the best coffee in the house was, Arthur quickly whipped up a cup of his favored tea (Yin Hao) and had Nikolas make a cup of white chocolate mocha for Alfred before rushing back over to the table.

"Right, I must talk fast because I have to be back on the clock in…" He glanced down at his watch. "seven minutes. So listen up, I have a lot to say about our current situation with the…project."

Alfred gave an awkward smile at that and Arthur wondered if for one brief moment if he'd mistaken the request as a legit, well, _proposition_, rather than a code to get him alone to talk about the mission.

He felt a little bad, blushing a bit as he continued on. If things didn't change soon well then… Arthur shook his head. He wouldn't bring it up with Alfred unless it came down to it. That was that.

"Oh okay. So uh…what's up?"

Taking a deep breath, Arthur began to explain.

"As you might have guessed by my new employment, we are putting our covers into place should the need arise for us to stay and protect you. Have you had any other flashes since the one on Major Zwingli's name this morning?"

Alfred shook his head in the negative. "No, but I've been shut up in the Buy More working so…"

Arthur sighed, "Wouldn't matter. Even small words or phrases might trigger you, given the complexity of the project. It saw patterns in the combined information that no one else could. If we can make it the rest of the day without an incident, Major Zwingli will be reassigned. If we make it a week, I'll go home and you'll be given a number to contact in case of an emergency."

He nodded slowly at that, obviously a bit overwhelmed by it all. Quietly he asked, "And if I do see something?"

Arthur took a deep breath. "You'll be protected fully by me and Major Zwingli until the effects wear off. You cannot tell your friends or family _anything_ for their own safety, the less they know the better. You will be given a cover so you can be seen with us by other spies and not questioned and…" he flushed, thinking over what that agreed cover was, "and will provide us with any information you flash on so that we may take appropriate actions to deal with it."

With an unreadable expression, Alfred took a sip off his mocha. "So either I wake up tomorrow like this was all some crazy dream or I'm stuck with you for…however long?"

He lingered on the words 'stuck with you' in a strange way and Arthur felt thoughts he'd rather keep repressed prickling at the back of his mind.

"Basically. Given the fact you've yet to flash again, it seems tomorrow this will be all but a bad dream for you."

Alfred gave a wry smile and stood up, a dollop of whipped cream from his mocha on his nose as he quietly said, "I'd best get back to work."

Arthur nodded, feeling cold despite the warmth of the tea in his belly. He watched Alfred's back go towards the door, knowing that this would probably be the last he ever saw of him.

That's when Alfred stopped, his eyes going wide as he snatched up a lone newspaper sitting on one of the tables.

"Uh…Arthur?"

He dashed over, looking at him expectantly. "Yes?"

He swallowed. "What's my cover?"

Arthur flushed, "No need to if…"

"It says that this General of whatever arrived in town this morning but…" He locked eyes with Arthur. "Somehow I know he got in last night and that," Alfred swallowed hard, "someone's planning to bomb his speech tonight."

Green eyes went wide, Alfred's actions were all too clear to be him acting just to get more of the limelight of spy work. Clearly, Alfred had seen something- one of those crazy patterns that project ALLIES was created to find, that no one else could.

With a deep breath and heat rising up his neck, Arthur mumbled out.

"Your cover is…is as my boyfriend."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Alfred versus the Computer: 3

**Notes:** This is the final part of the first "episode/storyline" so I really hope you all enjoy it! I'll be back with the next story arc sometime in January if there's still interest :)

Human Names:  
Monaco: Ingrid Grimaldi  
Seychelles: Evangeline (Eva)

* * *

**Codename**

**Episode 1: Alfred versus the Computer, Part 3  
**

* * *

If suddenly having a rush of knowledge about the General and the bomb attempt on his life didn't make Alfred's heart lurch, this did a thousand times so.

"Excuse me?"

Arthur averted his eyes, still blushing. "Don't get me wrong, it wasn't my idea! Take it up with Miss Grimaldi if you want, it was her idea. But…" He took a deep breath and leveled Alfred with a look. "It's the safest for you, I promise."

Alfred felt his neck heating up. "But…b-boyfriends?"

Arthur crossed his arms, suddenly seeming very stiff. "I'm terribly sorry if you aren't comfortable with that but a relative won't work and…"

"I didn't say I wasn't comfortable being seen as…_you know_," Alfred mumbled out quickly, regretting it the moment he did so.

The look it got out of Arthur though…almost made his embarrassment worth it. A moment of silence settled between them and finally Alfred pressed onward.

"S-So there aren't any other options?"

Arthur sighed, "You cannot be a relative, because one- I have relatives that we might encounter that would blow your cover immediately and two, if you are seen with me and Major Zwingli by other agents, you cannot be known to be anything but civilian."

"This is…a really top secret project then, huh?"

A small moment of understanding seemed to pass between them and Arthur's stiff posture relaxed a smidgen.

"Yes. Only a few agents even have knowledge about it and we must keep it that way. So if you are constantly seen with me by others of my profession, well... you must be a civilian that would constantly be accidentally pulled into my life."

"Which would make sense if I was your…yeah and we were like out on a d-date and then…then…"

"Then if something came up, yes, you being dragged along with me on my mission would be extremely plausible. It's happened many times to many agents who have dated civilians."

As if he was suddenly figuring out a twist in one of his favorite spy movies, Alfred lit up. "A-And if I had a coworker who suddenly started hanging out a lot with a new guy in town, I'd just assume that they were dating…"

Arthur nodded. "Precisely. On your side of things, we are going with what anyone around you would naturally infer from us constantly being together. Covers are supposed to be simple, what any person would naturally assume about the person. It's a matter of…"

"Blending in, seamlessly." Alfred finished, smiling. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he really wanted Arthur to understand that he _got_ this. He wasn't some dumb idiot who couldn't figure things out; he was Alfred Jones computer wizard! He'd probably seen almost every movie about spies ever made and he was a smart guy, he could totally fit right in with Arthur's world and he _desperately_ wanted Arthur to know that.

That slight smile, not the one he'd seen in the image, but that little twitch at the corner of Arthur's mouth, showed up at that and Alfred felt as happy as he had when he'd beat a video game in record time.

"Exactly."

They stood there smiling and sort-of-hidden smiling at each other until a little voice at the back of Alfred's mind got through.

"Shit, the bomb! We should…I don't know, go save the day?"

At first he expected to be told to go back to work, to leave this work to the _real_ spies. But, Arthur just nodded and for a brief, wonderful moment, he placed his hand on Alfred's shoulder and said.

"Awfully brave for a computer nerd, hmm?"

Alfred grinned dweebily. "Even a farm boy from Tatooine can be a hero, you know? So why not me?"

* * *

He'd sensed that something was up immediately when he noticed Alfred run back in the Buy More and start talking quickly to his Nerd Herd team.

Quickly, Vash began to circulate the store and brought himself closer to the group so he could overhear what was going on.

Catching something about "Have to go right now" and "Arthur" made him suspect that Alfred had flashed again. The rest of the conversation, Vash personally wished he could have gone without hearing.

"You are so getting laid!" The light-haired employee's obnoxious voice echoed across the store.

Alfred shouted back, "Shut up, Gilbert! It's just a standard Nerd Herd home installation and system check up."

"With Mr. Eyebrows."

"Eva, not you too!"

Grabbing up a small metal briefcase that Vash assumed was full of repair supplies, since it had a Nerd Herd logo on the side, Alfred turned around to rush back out.

But on seeing Vash, he gave him an awkward smile and simply said, "Did you need any help with _computer projects_, Sir?"

Between the intonation and the intent look in Alfred's eyes, Vash realized that something was definitely up and that he needed to discreetly follow him out of the store.

"Not today," he said gruffly.

"Hey Alfred!" Gilbert's brash voice called out. "You've already got your lover boy, can that one be mine?"

Alfred winced and yelled back, "Gilbert, go to the Customer Service desk!"

"But!"

"Go!"

As he sulked off to the other desk, Vash noticed Alfred mouth "sorry" to him.

Then before his coworkers could harass him any further, he bolted out of the store. Shooting one last glare back at Gilbert (that's what Alfred had called the loud annoying one, right?) Vash quietly and casually exited the store after him.

He spotted Alfred climbing into a small white car, emblazoned with Nerd Herd logos all over it and Arthur in the passenger seat. Glad that he had at least seventeen of his guns with him, Vash ran over and got in the backseat.

"I take it we have a problem?"

Arthur's look and Alfred's hands shaking slightly on the wheel answered him quite well, but he wanted details.

"Alfred flashed on General Eto'o, says they're going to bomb his speech which is in," Arthur glanced to his watch, "twenty minutes downtown."

Vash nodded as Alfred fired up his GPS and started following the directions. "And he's coming with us why?"

Alfred clutched the steering wheel a bit tighter at that and Arthur resolutely replied, "The knowledge on the bomb and how it was made is all in his head. We don't have time to call in help, so we're going to have to rely on the ALLIES project information to try and stop it."

_And you're soft on Jones,_ Vash thought inwardly, but didn't mention it. They had a job to do and the last thing he needed was two flailing idiots helping him do it.

* * *

The majority of the drive was spent in tense silence until Alfred awkwardly broke it by asking how any self-respecting spy didn't know Luke Skywalker came from Tatooine.

Arthur spluttered that knowing asinine facts about American films wasn't part of his training and Alfred just went, "Ooooh, so it's because you're British that you don't have good taste in movies then?"

This would have probably led to another argument between the two if the GPS hadn't piped up with a polite, "arriving at your destination."

As Alfred pulled the car into the front circle drive of the hotel where the conference was being held, Arthur noticed him take a deep breath and he inwardly wondered if perhaps bringing him along was a bad idea after all.

But…it was as he'd told Vash; Alfred was their only chance of stopping this bomb. So they'd just have to hedge all their bets on him.

"So do we run in guns blazing or drop in from the ceiling?" Alfred asked with a nervous laugh.

Arthur sighed.

…oh heaven help them.

"You stay with Arthur, I'll get the people dispersed," Vash said cocking a gun that he'd pulled from seemingly nowhere.

"Alfred," Arthur said, trying to draw his attention back to him, "you must look around and tell me immediately when you find the bomb. We might only have a few minutes to stop it."

"Right."

And before either of them could stop him, Alfred got out of the car and started running into the hotel.

"Your boyfriend needs to listen better," Vash called over to Arthur as they both hastily followed after him.

"Oh belt up! At least I don't sleep with my guns for comfort like you."

"Better than sleeping alone, Kirkland."

They glared at each other before both taking a running jump over the fountain in the hotel's foyer. Arthur was glad he'd left his glasses and sweater vest in the car as the water splashed up at their legs. He put his hand to the small handgun Vash had loaned him tucked at the back of his waist and gripped it. If all else failed, he'd have everyone evacuate and shoot the blasted bomb.

They caught up with Alfred as he barraged into the large banquet hall set up for General Eto'o's speech. Thankfully, before his sudden appearance could cause too much disturbance, Vash yelled out.

"Bomb threat, everyone out now!"

As the flock of people started filing out, Arthur rushed after Alfred, finally grabbing his wrist.

"We said to stay with us, can't you bloody…"

"It's right there. The moment I saw the hotel, I somehow knew exactly where the bomb was. I saw this…floor plan in my head."

Arthur came to a halt right beside the small table with a flower vase on top of it. He started to reach out for the vase and Alfred stopped him.

"Don't! It's…um, how to explain this…" He squinted his eyes closed and Arthur assumed he was trying to visualize the images he'd seen. "It's pressure sensitive. The vase is the trigger. If you move it to get to the bomb underneath, it'll explode right away. We've got to…"

He started looking around the room as Vash reached them. "Got everyone out."

"I need something as close in weight to the vase as possible..." Alfred murmured to himself.

Vash pulled back the tablecloth and sure enough, there was the bomb ticking away seconds underneath.

"Got any brilliant ideas, Kirkland?"

"Not that don't involve someone dying."

"Hey you guys, I think I've got it…"

They both looked to Alfred, who had lifted up a pitcher from one of the tables and stuffed it full of silverware. Arthur felt his heart clench. They were banking on someone who thought he could be a hero because _Luke Skywalker_ could.

"Arthur," Vash said quietly.

He sighed. What other choice did they have now? "Alfred, do what you can. You're our only hope."

Something about those words only seemed to spur Alfred on, and he nodded. "It's set up like that trap in the first Indiana Jones movie, so if I switch out the vase for something similar in weight it should trick it. The bomb is only set to go off when the pressure is removed, so I'll have to move really fast."

Giving Arthur and even Vash a timid smile, Alfred took a deep breath.

"Well, here goes."

As the numbers on the readout got closer and closer to zero, Alfred edged up to the table. Slowly and steadily, he held the pitcher aloft and hovered his hand over the vase. Then mumbling to himself something about it being just like a movie, Alfred moved.

Within the blink of an eye he'd swapped the pitcher for the vase.

They all froze, eyes locked on the small readout as it hit zero and…fizzled out.

Alfred started laughing nervously. "Ha…I….I did it. I did it!"

He turned and wrapped Arthur into a hug, Arthur's entire body freezing up at the sudden contact. But, well, he had done it, bloody insane git. A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips and for the first time in ages, Arthur let it do so.

_Farm boy from Tatooine, huh? You're something else, Alfred Jones._

Arthur could feel Alfred grinning into his shoulder and was about to thank him when suddenly the loud strains of the _Doctor Who_ theme blared from Alfred's pocket.

They bolted apart as if the fact they'd been hugging that long had just sank in and Alfred, blushing, yanked out his cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alfred, can I come over and play that game now?"

The voice on the other end of the line was so loud, Arthur was certain both he and Vash could make it out.

"Um…I...I'm a bit busy at the moment, Gilbert. Can we have a rain check on the gaming night?"

"Ooooh, are you still with Mr. I-need-a-home-checkup?" Gilbert teased. "Did you give him extra special customer service?"

Alfred went scarlet and closed up his cell phone, looking at Arthur for one brief moment before darting his eyes away.

Arthur knew, mostly because Vash was giving him an exasperated look, that he was surely red in the face as well.

Looking back over to the bomb, Alfred went white.

"Uh guys…"

"What?"

"If I'd messed up….we'd be dead, wouldn't we?"

They didn't answer, but their silence seemed to be enough. Alfred put a hand to his head and sank to the floor.

Quietly, and definitely not fondly, Arthur said, "Lucky for all of us, you were right," as he helped Alfred back to his feet. It was clearly time to get this computer nerd come hero home.

* * *

They'd picked up Vash's car from the Buy More parking lot and Vash followed Alfred home. Alfred, who was still a little overwhelmed by his day, kept glancing over at Arthur who had insisted on riding with him to his house.

They rode in complete silence, but for once, it seemed to be a…companionable silence and Alfred didn't feel right interrupting it.

As they got to his townhouse, Arthur followed him to his door while Vash idled in his car out front.

"So I guess we're stuck together, huh?"

Arthur chuckled darkly. "That's one way of putting it. Obviously this ability of yours isn't something that should be left unprotected."

Alfred smiled timidly. "You and Major Zwingli sticking around then?"

"Looks like it."

"Cool."

Arthur's green eyes flashed with something Alfred couldn't pinpoint as he said that. He couldn't help but laugh a bit to himself.

"So Arthur, I was thinking about our cover…"

He swallowed. "Yes?"

"And I guess, well, it could be worse, you know?" Alfred grinned, "I mean, I could have to pretend to be dating Vash. So yeah, you're…not so bad, okay? It's…cool."

Arthur cracked a smile at that- not quite the gentle one from the image in his mind, but definitely much closer than he'd ever seen it so far.

"You're not so bad yourself, Alfred," he said so quietly, at first he almost thought he'd imagined it.

He started to reach out, hesitated and then threw caution to the wind and did it anyways. Placing a hand firmly on Arthur's shoulder, Alfred's expression turned serious.

"Thank you for believing in me, Arthur. I know it sounds stupid but, I'm glad someone out there is giving me a chance."

Arthur just blushed, turning his eyes away. "G-Git. What other choice did we have?"

"Still," Alfred insisted, thinking to all the resumes he'd had rejected. "It means a lot, okay? So thanks."

Nodding, Arthur slowly reached up and patted Alfred's hand once. "You're welcome, then."

As he started to pull away to go, Alfred caught his wrist.

"Hey Arthur."

He turned, eyes widening as Alfred slid his hand down to grip his hand. He gave it a slight squeeze.

"Have a good night, okay?"

And giving him the slightest squeeze back, Arthur murmured, "You too, Alfred."

As Arthur walked to the car, Alfred slumped back against his front door. It had been one hell of a day.

* * *

Vash watched as Alfred jammed his keys in his door and went inside before turning on his engine. As he drove back to the hotel where their agencies had put them up, he turned to Arthur.

"You are so transparent, you know?"

"What?"

He snorted. "Jones. You like him."

Arthur huffed and crossed his arms. "I'm just being gentlemanly! It's only right to be nice to him; he's in a very unique and stressful situation."

At that Vash shook his head. "Right and tomorrow I'm going to go make out with that annoying coworker of Alfred's."

They glared at one another a brief moment before Arthur sighed. "He'll be your coworker too, you know? With our new covers. It could be…a long time before they figure out what to do with Alfred."

"I've had worse covers."

"When I mentioned I wanted a vacation, this isn't what I had in mind."

Vash went quiet for a moment for asking, "Leave anyone important at home?"

Arthur was silent for sometime before he said, "No, you?"

"No. Your family?"

"Bloody hate them. You?"

Vash, for the first time since Arthur had even heard of the NSA agent's reputation, seemed a bit human for a moment as he got a faraway look in his eyes.

"She's safe. That's all."

Arthur nodded, wondering if perhaps sooner or later Alfred would get through to Vash as well as much as he'd already affected him. Bloody git, he just…had a way with people it seemed.

Quietly, he murmured, "He's a good guy, Alfred is. Bit of a geek, but…his heart is in the right place."

Vash smiled slightly. "Yeah. Info could have ended up in much worse hands than Jones."

The two parted ways at their hotel, Arthur giving Vash a handshake and just simply saying, "Well, here's to our mission, Major Zwingli. Let's keep him as safe as we can."

"See ya in the morning, Kirkland."

"Same, Zwingli."

* * *

Alfred had been bombarded by Toris and Feliks the moment he'd entered. Apparently Gilbert had called and dropped not-so-subtle hints about Arthur. Alfred, who was blushing thoroughly, kept telling them he was really tired and need to get to bed.

"Look, I like totally know you aren't as crude as Gilbert says but you totally need this, Alfred. You've had your nose stuck in schoolwork, been in your room with video games or working ever since college. It's like time to you know…move on!"

Giving Feliks a slight smile, he bade his roommates goodnight. Toris came down the hall after him.

"Al?"

"Yeah?"

Toris pushed a strand of his brown hair behind his ear. "We just want you to be happy, okay? I know Gilbert and Feliks can be a bit…forward, but we all just worry about you and want you happy. So if this Arthur makes you happy then, go for it okay?"

Alfred smiled at that, giving Toris a one-armed hug. "Thanks buddy. I'll keep that in mind, okay?"

"Good."

Wishing him goodnight again, Alfred went into his room and flopped down onto his bed. He felt like his mind was on overload, which he supposed is what happened when you wake up to find out you have a computer in your head.

But thinking back to what Toris had told him, a smile crept onto Alfred's lips.

Arthur had given him the chance to be a hero- a real, bonafide hero, and he'd succeeded. And something (a little more about Arthur and a little less about being a hero than he'd like to admit) about that made him downright ecstatic.

"I'm so freaking awesome!" He said, rolling over on his bed and hugging his pillow. "Alfred Jones, super spy. Watch out world!"

And as the image of Arthur smiling popped into his mind again, he rolled off the bed.

"Ow. Damn, I need a bigger bed."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Alfred versus the First Date: 1

**Notes:** Sorry for the delay on this second arc! Thank you again to all the comments and support for the first arc, it means the world to me!

Human names used:  
Monaco: Ingrid Grimaldi  
Seychelles: Evangeline (Eva)  
Denmark: Derek Densen

* * *

**Codename 4, Alfred versus the First Date Part 1

* * *

**

Alfred woke up the next morning with a considerable headache and a sinking feeling that everything that had happened the day before was simply an elaborate dream.

He checked his computer for the email, but of course, it wasn't there. And although he knew he'd put Arthur's business card inside his _Lord of the Rings_ mug on his desk for safekeeping, he was honestly scared to check on the off-chance it wasn't there.

With a heavy sigh, he mulled it over in the shower. It made sense that he dreamed this whole thing up. He was stuck in a retail job despite having an illustrious degree, he spent most of his free time hanging out with Gilbert or Kiku, and he'd always dreamed of doing something heroic, like being a spy.

Of course he'd conjure this up. He was desperate to be a hero and…a bit lonely, despite all his friends. Feliks had tried to hook him up with various people before, but he just wasn't interested. What would someone see in a lame computer nerd who worked at the Buy More anyway? As he and Gilbert had often joked, a bit sardonically, no one was going to be interested in losers like them.

And especially no one like Arthur Kirkland. Some grumpy, yet strangely endearing, James Bond wannabe straight out of Great Britain who seemed to value Alfred's intellect and give him chances in life. No, there's just no way something that great would walk into his drab life after all these years of missed opportunities and rejected resumes.

As Alfred toweled off, thinking somewhat fondly over how he'd met Arthur in his dream here in his room in rather embarrassing circumstances, he made a little inward vow to himself.

Real or not, starting today, he was going to start taking chances again. Because hopefully, if he gave it a shot, someone out there would find him worth it.

* * *

"Good morning, agents," Miss Grimaldi stated, looking from Arthur to Vash. The small video screen was providing them an image of the CIA head, her glasses glinting as she turned to look at both of them.

They were in Vash's hotel room, where he'd rigged up the television to display the video feed.

Arthur shifted uncomfortably. "I presume you've read our reports?"

Ingrid smiled slightly. "Yes. After going over them with both the head of the NSA and the SIS, we've decided to keep you both here until further notice. Clearly the information in Mr. Jones' head shouldn't be left unattended."

"_We're_ being stuck here until further notice?" Vash asked irritably. "Why can't they bring in other agents to deal with babysitting him?"

"Because we are trying to limit the knowledge on project ALLIES to as few agents as possible, Major Zwingli. Also, your superior said they still haven't found von Bock and mentioned that it's possible he collapsed and bled to death in a ditch after you shot him."

Vash shrugged. "I asked him to stand down and come with me, and he started tinkering with his computer, which turned out to be a bomb. I feel, as I've told my superior, I was within bounds shooting him."

"Something your superior doesn't seem to agree with, Major Zwingli," Ingrid said with a piercing stare. "His message to you is that he hopes this extended mission will help you cool your head some."

Vash swore.

"Ma'am?" Arthur interjected. "Are all the covers going to remain as is?"

She gave a knowing smile. "Mr. Kirkland, I understand that we've thrown you both into this situation without proper covers on your names and I apologize for that. We were hoping this would be a quicker operation. You will both just have to improvise in any situation that you deem it unsafe to use your current names during."

Arthur opened his mouth to clarify his question, but the CIA director beat him to it.

"As for your concerns about the cover we've given you and Mr. Jones, I have discussed this with your superior."

Arthur perked up.

"Based on the reports from both you and Major Zwingli, it seems you have a special fondness for Mr. Jones. Your boss has therefore instructed me to keep your cover as is with the instruction for you to loosen up."

"But Ma'am, I…"

"Are a known loner throughout various agencies, Mr. Kirkland. You prefer to work alone and rarely are able to cooperate with any European agents, costing the success of a few missions. In working with Major Zwingli to protect Mr. Jones, we hope for you to improve your interpersonal relations."

Just about to protest, Arthur halted as a newspaper clipping was held up to the screen.

"More importantly you two, thanks to Mr. Jones' and your help, we have apprehended the bomb suspect. Give yourselves a pat on the back and well," she gave them a terse smile as she adjusted her glasses, "I hope you both enjoy the California weather."

* * *

Alfred almost spit out his orange juice at the table when he saw the headline of that morning's newspaper.

_Bomb threat thwarted by quick-thinking agents_

"Hey um…" His heart had started racing, "Toris, can I see the paper?"

His roommate gave him a smile and handed it across the table. "Sure, here you go."

Taking it from him, he started skimming the article in a rush, his pulse hammering away in his veins. How would he have known about this bombing in his dream if this was 'breaking news'? And did that also mean…

He glanced all over the article for any names, credits to the heroes that had saved the day and all that, but there wasn't any. Not even what agencies they worked for. Just a simple, "General Eto'o sent out his express thanks to the trio that ultimately saved his and many other lives last night" before going on about the speech he was giving and the amount of people whose lives were endangered.

Was it all just some freaky coincidence?

Then his eyes caught sight of the name of the article's writer and his mind flashed a myriad of images.

A light-red haired man with freckles, Austrian by birth, worked for the CIA as their public relations head chairman. Codenamed: Mr. Newspaper.

Nope. It wasn't a dream.

He almost choked on his eggs and bolted up in his chair. "Then Arthur's card is real," he said distractedly to himself before rushing out of the room.

Once he was gone, Feliks just shook his head. "He's like totally love sick with that guy. Like did you see the way he's spacing out? Soooo in love."

Toris gave Feliks a smile and glanced after Alfred. "I hope you're right. He could use a break in life."

"Well and the best man out there is already totally taken by me, so he'll have to settle," Feliks teased, pecking a kiss to Toris's cheek.

He flushed red, "Feliks…"

"Yeah yeah. I like totally wish him well and stuff too. It'd be awesome for him if things started looking up."

* * *

Vash Zwingli loved his job but hated the jobs had to do for it.

When he was out on missions, bringing down baddies with one of his prized guns, that felt comfortable to him. That was normal, that felt _right_.

That sort of work was a far cry from a scratchy green shirt with a Buy More logo embroidered on the chest, a plastic name badge and khaki dress pants. He _hated_ civilian job covers, they were the worst.

Sliding his favorite pistol snugly into the back waistband of his pants, Vash turned around to make sure the horrid green shirt covered it satisfactorily. It did and the press of the cold metal against his back made him feel a little bit better about his incoming 'work day.'

"Small comforts, I suppose," he grumbled to his reflection in the mirror. Sliding a small little one-shot derringer into his shoe, he gave himself a nod in the mirror.

Those small comforts didn't last him very long though. The moment he was out on the sales floor, Vash found himself already wanting to pull one of the guns out and use it. And not because Alfred's safety was compromised.

This was primarily because one Gilbert Weillschmidt (that turned out to be the imbecile's full name) had decided to "help the newbie fit in."

"Hey there Vashie! Can I call you that?"

"No."

Gilbert swung an arm around Vash's shoulders and he had to resist the urge to break it.

"So Vashie, my bro filled me in that you'd be starting today and so I'm going show you around. Because I'm just _that_ awesome!"

"I am quite capable of figuring things out myself. I do have more than one brain cell, unlike some people," Vash snapped back.

Gilbert just laughed obnoxiously. "Yeah, some people are _so_ dumb!"

From this point onward, Vash did his best to tune out Gilbert as he rambled on about god knows what, only allowing his brain to pick up important tidbits he might actually need to know.

Like the names of his fellow floor sales clerks on this shift: Berwald and Derek, who apparently had a long standing sales rivalry and constantly got into stupid fights over it.

And it wasn't until Alfred came over with a strained smile on his face that Vash realized that Gilbert still had his arm around him.

"Hey Gilbert, there's a customer on line two that you did the repair work for. I'll take it from here."

Gilbert shrugged, finally easing his arm off Vash's shoulders. He turned with a flourish and shot him a wink. "Just let me know if you need _anything_, Vashie."

The moment his back was turned, Vash mimicked firing a gun at him with his fingers and Alfred grimaced.

"Sorry about….him."

"Was he dropped on his head as a child? His brother seems a lot…"

Alfred chuckled, "Different. Yeah. Um so…" he shuffled his feet. "You're…still here then?"

Vash raised an eyebrow, then he crossed his arms. "Moved into an apartment this morning. Here for however long it takes, apparently."

Taking a slight step back, Alfred leaned on a display for DVDs. "I'm sorry I'm the cause of this. I can kinda tell you don't want to be here."

"It's my job."

Eyes darting towards the Tea for Two across the parking lot, Alfred was trying to find the nerve to ask if it was just Vash or if both of the agents…

But Vash beat him to it. "He's still here too, if you were wondering."

"Huh? Oh yeah. I see." He willed down a blush.

"Have any other flashes today?" Vash asked, desperately hoping for any excuse to leave and go shoot something.

"Just the name of the person who wrote the article for the paper. Apparently he's PR for the CIA," Alfred said. Then, throwing caution to the wind he added, "Awkward question, but how many guns do you have with you right now?"

Vash blinked, then realized he'd been subconsciously resting his hand above his revolver on his back. "Seven," he said quickly, then he darted his eyes around before adding. "Why do you ask?"

Alfred gave a terse smile, "Just gauging how high the chances are of Gilbert being shot before the day is over."

Vash glared and Alfred held up his hands.

"Ooookay then, I'm going to go do my job. If you actually need to know something around here and don't want to ask Gilbert, you know where to find me."

And as Alfred walked back over to the Nerd Herd counter, Vash ran a hand absently over his shoulders. It wasn't like him to let someone, especially someone annoying like Gilbert, into his personal space like that.

He ran his hand over his revolver to bring himself back to earth and sighed.

Clearly the stupid was contagious around here.

* * *

Arthur had taken off the morning from his new cover job to get settled into his apartment. He didn't have much, and the place looked dreadfully empty and lonely as he stood staring around at all the stark white walls.

Perhaps this would have bothered him more if he hadn't been so used to it.

As much as it unnerved him to admit it, his superior was correct in seeing him as a loner. He had a large home back in England, and the closest he'd ever come to having visitors was when people would linger on the sidewalk to look at his garden. And as for work, he rarely got along well with fellow agents and in general preferred to work alone.

He sighed, seating himself on the end of his bed.

"I'm a right prat, apparently," he said to no one.

His superior had called and given him instructions to show Mr. Jones a few files on an elusive secret agent out of Eastern Europe. While people had been trying to track down this agent or anything about them for years, and putting the ALLIES project to work on it was a valid cause, Arthur had a sinking feeling it was more an excuse to keep Arthur from sitting at home alone all night.

He rested his head in his hands, realizing that without this reason to call up Alfred he probably would do just that.

Picking up his glasses for his cover off the mantle, he slid them onto his face and gave himself look over in the mirror. He scowled.

"All his coworkers are going to think him mad for wanting to date someone like me even if it is all false. Then again, anyone would have to be mad to want to put up with me outside a cover…"

And with a heavy sigh, he picked up his keys and headed out.

* * *

Alfred told himself profusely that in no way whatsoever did his heart do a little flip when he spotted Arthur coming into the Buy More.

Or, if it did, it was clearly just a "hey I know that person" thing and nothing more. No way at all.

This inner charade was working great until Arthur approached and casually asked Kiku who was standing at the front, "Um hallo. Pardon for asking, but is Alfred in?"

Kiku gave a polite smile and turned to call back into the work area. "Alfred, someone's here for you!"

Ducking Eva's outstretched arms to mimic Arthur's eyebrows and ignoring Gilbert's lewd gestures, Alfred made his way up to the counter.

"Ah hey, what's up?"

Arthur shifted nervously, darting his eyes around before quietly mumbling out.

"I just got settled in my place today and I really don't know anyone in the area so, I was wondering if you'd be up to showing me around? You were so helpful last night after all."

Alfred felt his face heating up, at both the compliment and the other implications. "Um…" He thought back to his vow that morning and with a deep breath plowed ahead. "S-Sure."

Arthur nodded, then handed him a slip of paper. "I just got my phone installed, so that's my home number now. Just call it if you get lost."

Alfred spotted the full address on it, but knew why Arthur hadn't mentioned it. They'd told both their jobs that the reason they left early the night before was to do a home installation at Arthur's place.

That's when a sickening thought washed over Alfred.

Was this a real date or a cover date?

He racked his brain for any clues Arthur might have dropped, but couldn't find anything. Awkward rubbing the back of his head he asked.

"Um, all your computer stuff doing okay? Do I need to bring anything for that?"

Arthur looked confused for a moment then shook his head.

"Ah no. It's all doing quite fine. I was thinking more…" He shifted on his feet. "We could get something to eat and…" he shrugged, face going red as he adverted his eyes.

Alfred felt his heart lurch.

There was just no way this could be a cover thing, right? He tried like he had the day before to bring up computers to try and ask if it was something about ALLIES. That seemed to work with Vash at least, so he figured if it was the same with Arthur he would have given some sign.

But Arthur just stood there looking awkward and…well, blushing. No one's acting was _that_ good, right?

With a nervous grin, Alfred gave a quick pat to Arthur's hand where it rested on the corner.

"Okay, I'll think up some awesome places to eat. What time should I be there?"

Arthur glanced up, green eyes a little wider than before. "Six?"

Alfred nodded. "Six. I'll see you then."

And as Arthur gave him a small nod and waved goodbye, Alfred didn't even care that his coworkers were never going to let him live this down.

* * *

If his panic over this date/not-date was bothering him while he was at work, it multiplied tenfold once he got home.

Arthur was a spy and apparently a really good one if he was assigned such a top secret mission. Of course he could probably emote on cue if it was needed for a cover.

But, Alfred thought to himself as he stared at the clothes he'd sat out on his bed, if this was a real date or even just a real attempt to be friends, he'd look like a royal ass if he showed up in his work clothes acting like he didn't care.

Sighing, he ran a hand up through his bangs. He could look like a jerk who fashion-wise stood up someone on a possible first date or he could look like an idiot who thought it was a real date when it was just some heavily coded signal to say "come and use your computer brain to figure out this super secret spy stuff."

Living with Feliks, Alfred understood fully the implications your clothing and hair could make on people, so he figured he had to either go all out or not bother at all. Some mid-way casual outfit just wouldn't cut it if it was serious.

"Argh, why don't they teach you how to do this kind of shit in school?" He asked his ceiling as he flopped back on his bed.

It didn't help that he thought Arthur wasn't…that bad. Though now he was second guessing even that. What if the Arthur he knew wasn't even like this? Was it all an act?

That's when that little flash of Arthur smiling entered his thoughts again and Alfred sighed.

It was stupid to bank everything on some knowledge in his brain that wasn't even his own, but it was the best hunch he had.

If Arthur Kirkland was anything like that image, even deep down, then Alfred couldn't bring himself to stand the guy up. It just wasn't heroic.

So hoping that his gut feeling was right, that Arthur was somewhat interested in him outside this spy-cover stuff, Alfred stood up and yelled down the hallway.

"Feliks? Toris? I might sorta-kinda have a possible date-thingy. Not that it's a big deal or anything but…"

"Like oh my god, when is it? We need to get your hair fixed up! Toris, grab that gel off our bathroom counter. This is like totally an emergency!"

Alfred felt a little smile tug at his lips. Cover or not, he wasn't going to let Arthur down.

* * *

to be continued...


	5. Alfred versus the First Date: 2

**Notes:** Thank you so much for those of you that take the time to reply! It means so much to me :)

Human names used:  
Ukraine: Katya Chernenko

* * *

**Codename 5, Alfred versus the First Date Part 2**

**

* * *

**

"I think I prefer you as a blonde," Eduard said, coming up behind Katya in the bathroom and smiling at her reflection in the mirror.

She flushed, adjusting the long black wig on her head. "Eduard, you should be resting."

He chuckled, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Correction, I _know_ I prefer you as a blonde. So…" he tilted his head, "what's the mission? I thought you were on leave."

At that Katya dropped her eyes and began fidgeting with the dark lipstick she'd been applying when he came in. "I am."

Eduard narrowed his eyes, "Then, why the…"

"It's for you," she blurted out, her eyes starting to well up with tears. "I know you'll try and talk me out of it, so just let me…"

Turning her around at that, Eduard pulled her gently against his bandaged chest. "Katya, I won't stop you unless I feel you are getting yourself in too deep. I do trust you, you know."

She gave him a watery smile at that, sniffling back another onslaught of tears. "I made undercover contact with a KGB agent. I'm trying to get solid evidence that the Russians were after ALLIES so that I can clear your name."

Eduard frowned. "Katya, what's the agent's name…"

"I'm using my former KGB connections to pose as a Russian spy inside the CIA, setting up an intel exchange that will hopefully incriminate them on tape."

"What's the agent's name, Katya?" Eduard asked again, his eyes filled with concern.

Katya took a deep breath. "The White Russian."

* * *

Arthur knew he'd messed up royally the moment he'd opened the door.

There was Alfred, hair slicked back aside from one stubborn strand that was fighting against the gel, a relaxed suit-jacket over a distressed high-fashion shirt and designer jeans. And worst of all, in his left hand he clutched a single rose.

_Shit..._ Arthur cursed inwardly. He was standing there in a rumpled shirt and slacks, looking for all the world as if he was just about to crawl into bed.

His appearance didn't go unnoticed by Alfred either…

"Um…you did mean tonight, r-right?"

Arthur inwardly swore some more. When had he become so used to lying and falsifying everything about his life that it became natural to set up a date and not by any means plan on it being a real one?

"Arthur?"

The brilliance of Alfred's blue eyes caught him then and Arthur downright despised himself. Of course innocent, naïve, computer nerd Alfred would take what he said as an invitation out for a date. Who in their bloody right mind wouldn't?

_Me, apparently_, he answered himself cynically.

"I just needed you to look over some information my agency sent over, that's all," Arthur responded coldly, turning towards where the paperwork was set out on the coffee table.

"…Oh."

It was just a single word, a sound even, and it broke Arthur completely to hear it. He had fucked this up and what was he doing about it? Slipping right into business-mode instead of trying to address a damned thing.

As Arthur went to sit down, Alfred took a deep breath and quickly blurted out, "Well, can we go grab a bite to eat first or something?"

"I've already eaten." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. All three of them once again a lie.

"Oh well…um," Alfred rested his hand on the arm of the couch and swallowed, finally raising his gaze to meet Arthur's. "No offense but, I'm feeling really stupid right now and just wanna go. So, I'll…" he turned his back and Arthur wanted so much to stop him, but he couldn't think of how to reverse what he'd already done. "I'll see you tomorrow, if you smart, intelligent spies actually need my help then. Otherwise, I'll be at work. With the other stupid fools."

"Alfred, wait…I…"

But his jacket sleeve was already out of Arthur's reach and he was halfway out the door.

"Alfred, it's not-"

And by the time he reached the door, all he could see was Alfred's back disappearing into the elevator. Arthur swore aloud and kicked his doorframe.

"Bloody brilliant arse you are, Kirkland."

He turned with an angered flourish back to his lonely apartment, his eyes catching sight of the crumpled waylaid rose resting on the arm of his couch.

Arthur knew then he had a choice. He could just reiterate to Alfred tomorrow that this was a business arrangement and that their cover as boyfriends was just that- business.

Or he could do something he'd rarely done in his line of work.

He could tell the truth.

* * *

Eduard's mind froze at the name. The White Russian, an infamously elusive Eastern European agent. They were so good at what they did; no one knew their gender, age, or anything else that could help identify them.

And rumor was that was because anyone who saw The White Russian face to face never lived to speak of it.

His heart started to race, pressing painfully against the wound on his chest.

"Katya, you can't…"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Eduard, do you trust me?"

He nodded, "I do, but…"

"Then let me help you the only way I can. The exchange isn't face to face, just a drop point at a hotel bar. Then, depending on what they have to offer, perhaps I'll go forward from there." Katya took a deep breath and glanced up at Eduard, her expression steely. "You're my partner and as long as you're being labeled as rogue and accused of this crime I cannot help but want to change that."

"Katya…"

She placed her hand against his chest, over his heart and the bullet wound near it. "You've taken your risks, Eduard; let me take mine."

Picking up her gun from where it rested on the sink edge, Eduard slid it gently into Katya's back waistband as he kissed her. Resting his forehead down against hers, he replied, "Be safe, okay?"

Katya nodded. "Of course. Someone's got to take care of you, after all."

Eduard chuckled, "Hey now…"  
She shook her head, giving him a light pat on his cheek. "You were trying to patch yourself up with electrical tape this morning, Eduard."

He shrugged. "It works for the computers, why not me?"

"Because," she leaned into him, trailing her hand from his cheek down to his heart, "you are not a computer, silly."

"Ah. Keep forgetting that," he teased back.

She leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips at that before turning back around to finish getting ready. She slid a small knife into the side of her black pumps and another gun was holstered to her left thigh just up high enough that the short black skirt covered it.

Looking into the mirror one last time, she sighed.

That's when Eduard looped a chain over her head, fastening it on behind her neck.

"Eduard…"

"I figure you should have your lucky charm; you need it right now more than I do."

As the small trident pendant settled right above her chest, Katya smiled, reaching up to run a finger over it. "Thank you."

"So…what's your plan?"

Katya gave him a look. "You just want to hack into the hotel's surveillance so you can keep an eye on me, don't you?"

Eduard put a hand over his chest and did his best to look innocent. "Me? Hack into something?"

She laughed at that. "It's a date. You via the hotel camera system and me disguised as someone else."

He gave a smile in return. "Sounds wonderful."

* * *

Alfred came home far earlier than anyone should from a date, clutching a rumpled bag of McDonald's and giving both Toris and Feliks a forced smile when he opened the door.

"Hey..."

"Alfred, what…"

He laughed it off, the sound even sounding hollow to himself. "Ah, nothing! Something just came up, that's all. I'm gonna be in my room, okay?"

Giving both his roommates that same look he had after so many rejection letters, the one that said 'hey, I appreciate the concern, but I really just wanna be alone right now,' Alfred shuffled his feet down the hallway to his room.

Throwing his suit jacket into a heap on the floor, Alfred let out a heavy sigh and sat on his bed.

"So much for taking chances," he mumbled.

He felt so stupid. Of course it was just part of the cover! How could it have been anything else? No one in their right mind would want to tie themselves down with some loser who worked at the Buy More.

But still, it hurt to be brushed off so coldly. If that was what a real spy was like, Alfred thought to himself that he'd rather not be one after all.

Distantly, he heard a knock on the front door and Alfred hoped that Toris and Feliks would convince Gilbert to go away. As much as he enjoyed hanging out with him sometimes, now was not a good time for it.

"Alfred?" Toris's soft voice called through the door.

Alfred sighed. What had Gilbert told them that sounded important enough to make them let him in?

"Yeah?"

"Um, someone's here to see you…"

Before Alfred could even stand up off his bed, the door swung open. And standing there next to Toris…wasn't Gilbert at all.

It was Arthur.

Glasses half-crooked on his nose and his dress shirt and sweater vest looking more haphazard than Alfred had ever seen them, Arthur took a deep breath and said, "I'm terribly sorry about before. Can I…come in?"

Spotting Feliks giving him a thumbs up behind Arthur's back, Alfred nodded. "Uh…yeah."

Toris shut the door once Arthur was in and suddenly the room seemed far too small and intimate.

Alfred swallowed. "Did something big happen? Need my computer-brain to figure something out?"

He tried to say it without too much anger, but he was sure at least a little slipped into the last few words.

"Alfred," Arthur said coming over and leveling him with a piercing look. "I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding."

Alfred rolled his eyes. Oh so that's how it was going to be. "Right," he said tersely. "It won't happen again. Just a cover, got it."

He looked away then, angrily focusing on his shelf of action figures and wanting nothing more than to ask Arthur to leave.

That's why when suddenly, a gentle, trembling hand touched his shoulder; Alfred started, whipping his head around to see Arthur looking…well, he wasn't sure what that look was, but it was definitely nothing like he'd seen before.

"Alfred, the mistake was mine. I just threw all this spy-talk in your lap and expected you to follow suit. Right prat of me, I'll admit."

Alfred's eyes widened. Was Arthur actually…apologizing?

"It's just…" He sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for my behavior but, we get rather in the habit of lying in this line of work. And sometimes, well, we forget that others aren't in on that fact."

He looked like he wanted some sort of reply or something, so Alfred gave a slight nod. The hand on his shoulder was starting to make him feel strange…

"So in the future, I'll make sure all our meetings are in code you and I have agreed upon. If the time ends in a five, please come casual. If the time ends in a zero, we need to go out and appear on a date, so please dress up. If…well, you get the idea."

Arthur went red at that and Alfred thought- no hoped - that perhaps there might be a time when it wasn't code after all.

Withdrawing his hand, Arthur bit his lip before pressing on, "It is true that I am new in the area and would like a friend to show me around sometime, so…with no pretenses, perhaps tomorrow?"

Alfred blinked. "A friend?"  
Arthur nodded. "I hope even after my coldness earlier you can at least offer me that."

All Alfred's anger and frustration dissipated at that, and he had to quash the sudden urge to hug the rather forlorn looking secret agent.

_I guess in that sort of work, you would get really jaded and well…lonely._

"Sure," Alfred said after a moment, holding out his hand. "Just keep me in the loop next time. I'm still not quite used to having a super secret computer in my brain, okay?"

Arthur took it and shook, letting it linger just enough Alfred noticed as he pulled away.

"Thank you."

His stomach let out an audible grumble at that and Arthur flushed.

"You haven't already eaten, have you?" Alfred queried.

Arthur sighed, "Bloody job makes one rather prone to lying…"

Looking to the crumpled McDonald's bag, Alfred snatched it up and pulled out two cheeseburgers. He held one out to Arthur.

"It's not much but…"

Tentatively, Arthur took it. Alfred gave him a slight smile and patted the bed beside him. He went a bit pink around the cheeks at that, but finally relented and took the seat.

"No onions," Arthur murmured after a moment.

"That a problem?" Alfred asked, a good half of his cheeseburger already finished.

He shook his head. "Not fond of them, actually. So it's rather fortunate."

Alfred smiled. "So you don't like onions. That makes one real thing I know about you."

Arthur's eyes went wide. "What…"

"You said yourself that your work is a world of lies, so I'm trying to keep a list of what I know isn't. So far, I know you don't like onions, unless that's a lie too."

With a huff, Arthur retorted, "That's the truth."

"All right, Mr. Agent who doesn't like onions. That's a start." He flashed a grin before finishing off his burger.

Arthur opened and closed his mouth a few times before settling on a slight smile. "You're something else, Alfred Jones."

He blinked, and before he could respond, Arthur reached up and brushed the corner of his mouth. Arthur's face was scarlet as he mumbled out, "B-Bit of ketchup, that's all."

Alfred smiled. "And you're quite the enigma, Arthur Kirkland. If that is your name."

The agent opened his mouth again then closed it. He gave Alfred a look. "I can't really compromise my cover but…"

"But?"

He took a deep breath, then sat his half-eaten burger aside. Closing the small distance between them on the bed, he leaned over. Alfred flushed as Arthur's breath tickled his ear.

"The name you call me by," he whispered so softly Alfred almost didn't hear it, "is as real as yours."

Blue eyes went wide as Alfred turned to look at Arthur, their close proximity only a distant thought overridden by the shock of this. "Really?"

Arthur nodded. "I promise. Swear it on my hatred of onions, even."

They both cracked slight smiles at that and Alfred absently sat his hand down right atop Arthur's. They both went wide eyed and blushed.

But before Alfred could retract it or even stammer out a 'sorry,' Arthur's sharp green eyes narrowed and he hastily shoved Alfred down on the bed.

"Get down!"

Before he knew it, he had Arthur pinning him down, and he saw the flash of Arthur's gun as he pulled it out and aimed it at the window.

"Show yourself!" Arthur said, voice firm.

Slowly, seemingly coming out of nowhere, Major Vash Zwingli swiveled into view. Clad head to toe in black, his blonde hair stood out even more than usual. Simultaneously, both Vash and Arthur lowered their guns.

Vash ran what looked like a pocket knife along the edge of the window before pushing it open. If he hadn't still been so distracted by Arthur lying atop him, Alfred was certain he would have been super unnerved by Vash's ease in getting his window open.

"When I saw someone making a move on Jones I didn't realize it was _that_ kind of move, Kirkland."

Arthur raised himself up on his elbows, resting them on Alfred's chest, and glared. "Stuff it, Zwingli. I saw a glint of a gun outside, and I was merely protecting the asset."

"Well, I would hope you used protection," Vash shot back.

Arthur growled; something Alfred practically felt given how close his body was to his.

"Go stick your tongue down a gun barrel, Zwingli."

"Uh guys…" Alfred said, and suddenly both the agents seemed to remember he was there.

Arthur, bright red and suddenly flustered, crawled off his stomach. "Oh, I…terribly sorry, just…"

There were footsteps in the hallway and Vash quickly disappeared back out the window. Arthur, looking panicked, grabbed the remote off the nightstand and switched the television on.

Tucking his gun back into his waistband, Arthur whispered, "Alfred, I'm very sorry about this but for the sake of our cover I…"

He yanked Alfred up and clasped his hand, giving him a tenative little smile before he leaned in as if he was going to kiss him.

Alfred's eyes went wide but before their lips could touch, the door swung open.

"Is everything in here all right? I heard yelling."

They pulled apart abruptly, both blushing, and Alfred raised his wide blue eyes to see Toris giving him an apologetic smile.

"Ahhh, I'm so sorry Alfred! It must have been the television," Toris said, starting to go.

But Arthur stood then, after giving Alfred's hand a quick squeeze and caught the door before it closed.

"It's all right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have barged into your home without much of an explanation." He held out his hand and gave Toris a smile, "My name's Arthur, I um…well, as you might have guessed," he shot a look back over at Alfred, a warm smile tugging at the corner of his lips, "I'm a bit fond of your roommate."

Toris smiled back and shook Arthur's hand. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm Toris and the one watching us down the hallway," he said shooting a glance over his shoulder, "is Feliks."  
Feliks gave a wave at that and Toris shook his head.

"Perhaps we should…come into the living room and watch a movie together or something?" Arthur offered. "If that's all right with you, Alfred?"

Alfred blinked, his mind still a bit overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Well, if they were going to sell this boyfriend cover they'd have to do something like this sooner or later.

"Yeah. Um…we'll be down in just a second, Toris. Okay?"

Toris gave him a knowing nod and retreated down the hall, shooing Feliks along with him.

"Arthur?"

As he turned back to Alfred, his eyebrows creased down and a frown started to overtake his smile.

"I'm sorry," he grumbled out, eyes downcast. "I had to think fast and…"

Alfred stood up, walked over and took Arthur's hand, giving it a squeeze. "And if that had been an actual threat, you would have saved my life and not endangered my friends in doing so."

Arthur glanced up at that. "You…"

Alfred gave him a tenative smile, then throwing caution to the wind, he gave Arthur a hug. It was clear to him now how hard it must be for Arthur, to constantly have to be on alert. To constantly have to think out lies and act on them. It was really no wonder it was so hard for him to just…be himself. That sort of life would make anyone cold.

"You're just doing your job, I get that. So let me do something for you, okay? When you need someone to talk to without lying, without pretending, I'll listen. I know you can't tell me everything but…" He pulled back and leveled Arthur a look. "Everyone needs a friend they can trust."

"Alfred…"

"And if I trust you with my life, it's only right that you trust me in return, got that?"

He chuckled at that, "von Bock sure picked one hell of a person to send that email to."

Alfred stepped back at that. "Hey, what's that supposed to..."

Words trailed off as Arthur reached out and took his hand again. "It means we should get down the hall before your roommates begin to get _ideas_."

Alfred flushed at that. "O-oh. Yeah."

And as they walked down the hallway hand in hand, Alfred couldn't help but wonder why they were acting like boyfriends when not a single person was watching.

* * *

to be continued...


	6. Alfred versus the First Date: 3

Notes: So sorry for the massive delay on this! I've been really struggling to write lately and I will hopefully get back into the swing of things soon. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Codename 6, Alfred versus the First Date Part 3**

* * *

"Sunflower Highball, heavy on the vodka," Katya said with a southern twinge never present in her normal voice.

The bartender acknowledged her with a nod and set about mixing up her order, never once suspecting that the black-haired woman before him was not what she seemed to be.

Irena Vinlinski, a businesswoman from Georgia in town for a conference, had checked into the hotel that afternoon and was now at the bar enjoying a few drinks with some of her fellow conference members. It was a solid cover and one that Katya couldn't help but wonder if the White Russian was also hiding under a similar one.

They'd made agreements to have the data drop point at the Hotel Valquez where a large business conference was housing all their attendees. It was easy to blend in a crowd of over three thousand guests, and Katya had tempted the foreign agent with quite an interesting tidbit.

Information on a top secret project between the American and British agencies that had been moved to a new compound after the whereabouts of the first was compromised.

If the KGB had indeed planned to take Project Allies, they would be highly interested in knowing where it was now. In return, Katya had asked for them to drop intel about codename POND. That had been the codename Project Allies had supposedly leaked under, according to a deep hack that Eduard had uncovered. No one knew this but her, Eduard and whoever was behind the plan to steal it. If the agent tonight had any intel on POND, it was intel they should have never had.

So there Katya was, laughing it up in a bawdy voice at the bar with a few businessmen and waiting for the right time to make the drop. Her drink order had been the discussed code to notify the agent she was there, and she was to not leave the hotel bar until eight at the night.

Down the bar from her, a businessman named Aldrich shot her a wink then pointed to a drink the bartender was delivering to her.

With a smile, she waved down the bar at him and toasted up the drink. No one noticed, but as she did Katya shot a coy look directly into the hotel camera in the corner, followed by a slight shrug.

_"Sorry Eduard. I'm popular with the boys again tonight. Don't be too jealous, okay?"_she thought to herself, hoping he got the message.

As the drink touched her taste buds, Katya paused. It was a Sunflower Highball, heavy on the vodka. Meaning either this man was very observant on what she'd ordered earlier or…

With a shimmy off the barstool, Katya made her way down to the man behind the drink. "Hello, Aldrich right?"

He gave a slight smile at the recognition. "You remembered my name, I see."

She giggled a bubbly laugh, "It's my strongpoint, names. So what's your story, Aldrich?"

The man, with his light sandy hair and purple eyes just gave a slight incline of his head, "Just in town for the conference. Which speaking of, I'd best be getting back to my room before my boss gets mad. He wanted us in our rooms by eight."

Katya played it cool, even if all of her mind was screaming at her _It's the White Russian_. "Aww, well that's just right unkind of him, innit? To spoil a fun night like this."

The man smiled, but it was slow and calculated. "Terribly rude of him. If you'll excuse me, Irena, I must be going. Please enjoy your drink."

And as the man left the bar, Katya discreetly pushed a strand of hair behind her earlobe then trailed her hand back to her neck.

Signal to Eduard.

_Watch that one like a hawk._

Not wanting to blow her cover or risk losing out on this opportunity to gain some intel, Katya stayed at the bar a few more minutes before leaving and going to the drop point in the lobby.

Pretending to fix her shoe, Katya balanced right by one of the large plants and popped open the small watering tube embedded in the soil.

But, the tube wasn't filled with water this time.

She pulled out the small roll of paper and discreetly tucked it in her shoe before casually making her way to her room.

Once there, she pulled it out and deciphered the code on it.

_Tomorrow night. During the closing ball. I will bring the men working on the project here. If you wish to speak with them before I kill them, you will have until midnight._

Her heart stopped a moment as the words sunk in. Whoever this was knew about Project Allies and was going to lure some agents involved to the hotel and kill them. Probably, she realized, in order to move their personal double-agent into that position.

Quickly, she called up Eduard via her encoded phone.

"Eduard, we have a problem."

"Let me guess, the White Russian is in the hotel?"

"And he's going to kill Agents Zwingli and Kirkland tomorrow at midnight."

* * *

Arthur realized, with an odd pang, that he'd never enjoyed a night of his life quite like this. While he loved the thrill of his work, being in genuinely friendly and kind company like this was a rarity his job often didn't allow him to indulge in.

For his part, Alfred had played it cool. Perhaps the geek had a bit of a spy in him after all, casually edging his arm around Arthur's shoulders midway through the movie. Though, some part of Arthur secretly wished that it was a real gesture and not one attempted to adhere to their cover of boyfriends.

As for Alfred's roommates, Toris and Feliks were quite the pair. Arthur found he rather liked Toris, the man nothing short of a perfect host the entire night. He offered everyone homemade cookies and kept checking to see if anyone needed more to drink.

Feliks was a bit unique, but as Arthur discovered, affectionately so. He was probably one of the few in the world that would comment on the clothing of characters in an action movie.

"Like honestly, no one is going to believe her hair looks that good after escaping two explosions and riding a motorcycle over a cliff. Totally not realistic at all!" he noted, more than once, throughout the film.

Arthur, after seeing Toris and Alfred do the same, let out a real chuckle under his breath. It had been far too long since he'd laughed for real, a cynical voice remarked in his head, and he was somewhat thankful that his superior had insisted on this cover.

As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, Arthur Kirkland knew he was a painfully lonely person.

As the credits for the film rolled, Arthur reluctantly made an excuse to leave. He knew emergency calls would route to his cell phone, but still felt a bit uneasy leaving his work unattended for so long.

"I'll see you out to your car then, Arthur," Alfred offered, flashing a smile.

Arthur nodded, quickly saying his thanks and goodbyes to Toris and Feliks before the two managed to make it out the front door.

"Sorry about them," Alfred began quietly. "Toris tends to fuss over everyone and Feliks is a bit…eccentric."

Arthur shook his head. "They're brilliant and you're lucky to have them as friends."

Alfred blinked. "Really? I figured they'd bother you. You seem like the grumpy-everything-annoys-me sort."

"That would be Vash. But trust me; I was more irritated by the asinine movie than your friends."

At that, Alfred gasped, "But that movie is amazing!"

Arthur chuckled, "I'm rather not surprised you like it, to be honest. Though I pegged you more as a sci-fi/fantasy fan."

Alfred puffed up his chest at that and posed dramatically near the fountain in the courtyard of his housing complex. "To boldly go where no man has gone before!"

"Shouldn't that be 'to go boldly,' given the spilt infinitive?"

Alfred stared. "I think I'm learning more and more about you tonight than I ever imagined I would. You do know they've argued about that grammar since the sixties, right?"

Arthur shrugged. "I'm taking that it's some sci-fi thing then?"

At that, Alfred promptly yanked Arthur down to sit on the fountain's ledge with him. "Arthur Kirkland, whether we are dating for cover or not, you need to know one very important thing about me."

He waited, giving a slight nod in acknowledgement.

With a mischievous smile, Alfred leaned in and whispered in his ear, "I'm kind of a geek."

Arthur let a smile slowly edge at his lips, but he buried it beneath a scowl as he gave Alfred a playful shove. "Git. Everyone in the bloody world could figure that out."

Alfred grinned. "Just reminding you, I am prone to break into Klingon, quote the entirety of all the _Indiana Jones_movies and am quite skilled in light saber dueling."

"Duly noted then," he replied, a hint of a smile present only in the quirk of his eyebrows.

His eyebrows, which Alfred decided to poke at. "So, tell me honestly. Did you have a good time tonight?"

Green eyes went wide at the bold question, but as he wracked his brain to form a proper reply, Arthur noticed the light dusting of pink over Alfred's cheeks.

"Yes, Alfred, I did. Silly action film, onion-less burger and all."

Something about his reply seemed to surprise Alfred, but before Arthur could try and take it back or cover it up with gruffness, the other man had leaned forward and wrapped him in a warm hug.

"Awesome," he breathed against Arthur's neck. "I'm really, stupidly glad to hear that. Because I know compared to your adventurous life, mine must be pretty lame."

Hesitantly, Arthur placed a hand on Alfred's back. "Sometimes, it's the little mundane things that are the real adventure."

Alfred seemed to tense a bit at that, but before Arthur could say more, he whispered quietly, "Arthur, something just moved over in those bushes."

Arthur nodded, then whispered back, "Do you have any cats or raccoons and the like around here?"

He felt Alfred swallow thickly, his throat still resting against his shoulder.

"Yes, but I don't think they have shiny metal objects."

"Stay calm, stand up slowly but stay with your arms around me. If they wanted to shoot you, they would have shot through me already."

They managed to do so, looking more like an awkward couple than a duo acutely aware that they were being watched by someone armed. Once standing, Arthur rested his forehead in against Alfred's.

"Vash should still be around somewhere, we just have to play it cool until he notices something is amiss. I want you to give a signal to him."

"A signal," Alfred asked, his heartbeat racing where his chest pressed against Arthur's, "How?"

"Reach up and rub the back of your neck with just your first two fingers, then grab your earlobe. Got that?"

He nodded, then did just as Arthur had instructed him to. Knowing that anywhere in that line of sight was covered; Arthur shifted two steps left and wrapped an arm up around Alfred's neck.

"I'm very sorry, but I'm going to have to pretend to kiss you in order to make the signal without looking suspicious. Just stay still and close your eyes."

Alfred nodded, closed his eyes and flushed bright red. Arthur knew he was probably equally red. He leaned in leaving the smallest of spaces between their lips. To anyone watching, it would look real.

Pulling back, Arthur averted his eyes and made the signal as if he was just nervously reacting to the kiss. Sure enough, before his nerves and embarrassment could get any worse, a door swung open and a familiar voice called out.

"Hope I'm not interrupting something."

_Vash_. Somewhere nearby, the bushes let out a slight rustle and Vash glared at them. "You got a cat?"

"N-No," Alfred managed.

Vash kicked a leg into the bush and was obviously displeased to find that he didn't hit something. He played it off well, "Probably a raccoon or something." He held out his hand to Arthur, "Hello. I'm Alfred's new coworker and neighbor. You must be the boyfriend his Nerd Herd keeps going on about."

Arthur blushed, but kept cover. "That would be me."

"Look, I was about to do that whole new-neighbor shtick with the food and everything, but why don't I invite you both in for a drink instead?"

Arthur gave a slight nod and Alfred picked up on it.

"Sure, sounds like fun Vash!"

He gave him a slap on his back as if they were the best of friends at work and the trio made for the nearby townhouse's door. Once safely instead, Vash swore.

Someone had been right on their doorstep and he hadn't been able to shoot them, poor guy. Arthur _almost_felt sorry for the other agent, but thinking back to the moment he'd been having with Alfred before they'd been interrupted, he decided perhaps Vash wasn't the only one who'd like to unload a few bullets into that bush.

* * *

For someone who had just moved in, Vash had already decorated his new townhouse to the degree he wished it to be. Already rather uncomfortable due to his false job at the Buy More, he wanted his home to be as unnerving as possible. This mean there was a fair amount of polished and mounted guns on display on his walls, all in working order despite the fact many looked like antiques. The place looked more like a museum to guns and pistols than a home, but to Vash it was a comfort.

A comfort that was a bit hampered by the fact he'd been ordered to move into one of the vacant townhouses in Alfred's complex to keep an eye on him.

But as much as that request had bothered him originally, tonight had given him solid proof that perhaps the computer-brained geek did need constant surveillance on him for protection.

"Make yourselves at home. Alfred can't leave until we know the perimeter is safe and his roommates aren't in danger and Arthur…"

"Wait," Alfred cut in, "If Toris and Feliks are in danger then we've got to do something! I should go there right now and…"

Arthur's steady hand came down on his arm and Alfred froze.

"Vash is right. It's possible whoever is there wants you to be without us for protection. We aren't in as deep a cover as we would have liked, so it's possible that our bloody identities are compromised. If you go home now, you'd be endangering all of you."

Alfred seemed to quiet at that and tensely sat back on the couch. Vash sighed. He'd needed to contact Agent Kirkland about some intel they'd been sent and was wary to talk about it with Alfred present. But, seeing as he had no choice, he pressed on.

"Kirkland, we got a tip tonight on possible movement on the White Russian in the area."

Before Arthur could even react, Vash realized that Alfred had. He'd gripped the couch arm tightly, his eyes had gone unfocused and he gasped.

"Alfred?"

"What did you see?"

Alfred turned to Vash, the urgency of his question drawing his attention. "The White Russian is an infamous Eastern European agent, who has been used for high-level assassinations. And, no one apparently knows anything about them outside this. Not their gender, hair color, eye color- nothing. No one has seen them and come away alive. But…"

At that, both Arthur and Vash edged closer.

Alfred looked between them warily. "They have purple eyes, a scar on the left side of their neck and often wear a necklace with a silver chain."

Vash took that information in and then, with a heavy sigh, went ahead with the plan. "Kirkland, we've been given intel to go to a ball tomorrow night at the Hotel Valquez. Apparently, there is a good chance this agent will be there and given their history, someone's life is probably in danger."

Arthur nodded, "And I suppose we're the only agents in the area who can get there in time without drawing suspicion?"

"Correct. We've been asked to attend the ball and try to flush them out. Originally, the asset here was to stay at home safely but…"

Vash locked eyes with Arthur, silently asking him if he'd take the cover.

With a flush he tried to repress, Arthur glanced over to Alfred. "No, you're right. He's got a lot of insight into this agent we don't have. Even with those details he gave us, we could miss them. But if Alfred sees their face, perhaps he'll flash on them."

Alfred perked up at this. "You want me to come with you?"

Arthur averted his eyes to his lap. "It'll be easier if Vash and I spilt up, so perhaps…for sake of the mission, you could…"

Vash rolled his eyes. Was it really that hard to ask someone to come as your cover boyfriend with you? Good grief. This is why he'd never bothered with personal attachments- too messy and too likely to make him turn into a blubbering fool.

"Jones, Kirkland's trying to say that your cover will be as partners for this."

Alfred blinked. "Like…business partners?"

Vash had to repress a smirk as Arthur shot a death glare at him. "No. Life partners."

Arthur snapped, "Zwingli, is it really necessary for us to…"

"Go all out on your cover? Yes. Kirkland you know that a flirtatious couple is way more likely to get into areas a single agent or one without that kind of cover can."

Alfred swallowed thickly, then meekly held up his hand. "Um question…"

The two agents paused in their battle of glares to acknowledge him. Immediately, Alfred turned to Arthur.

"Look, I know this is super lame but I really don't have any idea what to wear to this kind of thing and…" He raised his eyes and despite the shyness, there was a hint of bravery in there as well. "Well, I don't want to ruin our first fake-date, you know?"

Vash had to hold back a snarky remark as Arthur's defenses quickly crumbled away.

"Oh don't worry about that rubbish, we'll take care of that," he said quickly, his eyes going back to Vash, "We can work that out tomorrow. Right now, it's late and we need to know if it's safe for Alfred to go back home."

With a shrug, Vash looked to the pair on his couch. "It could take hours to do a check of the area and figure out if it's safe enough for the asset to be without us, so I was thinking he should stay in our watch until tomorrow morning."

"That sounds reasonable, is there a place here we can stay or…"

Arthur's words trailed off as he noticed the mischievous glint in Vash's eyes.

"Well, its obvious isn't it? You're the two in the cover, so logically as boyfriends he should spend the night _with you_, right?"

Logic or not, Vash supposed he deserved having Arthur throw the lamp at his head for that one.

* * *

To be continued...


End file.
